Taking care of myself and honing my superpower

Okey I am not going to sleep then, those thought keep popping up and I always need to write them out immediatly, otherwise they are lost in either, which doesn´t mean that they won´t come back. But you never know, and the only thing you have is the chance in the moment: the decision do I take myself seriously and get up and write down my thoughts or do I pass the resposibillity down to my future self.
And now I am really imagineng my future self getting loaded with all those things because I am not doing it right now! And I am starting to feel bad for my future self!
Imagine your Futureself packed with all this stuff, of course he can never be happy. And I realised that future self is ultimately me and if I don´t start taking myself seriously, it will pile up. I think this is also a deep part of the avoider mentallity which I am very familliar with.
SO when this idea came to my mind and i thought about getting up and writing it down, I immeaditly heard the voice in my head saying: NO you will lack sleep if u get up right now, you don´t want to “waste” sleep for “this”. BUT exactly this is what i need to do. For me its like that: My thoughts won´t let go anyway, it just comes from or through myself and needs to be experienced, thought about and expressed. Its rather unatural and if I don´t resist it, t gives me energy instead of draining me. Now that i think of it, my throat got better too, maybe a sign that i really need to express myself and not hold back.

And one more thing:

“Squeeze the fuck out of it when you got the chance, you´ll never know when your “time” is over” -Gary Vee

(Sorry if i messed it up Gary, this was a freestyle.)

No but seriously those flow states are crazy. When i am able to just think and write and think and write, are those moments for me where I´ll start squeezing relentlessly today. Also i can relate about feeling guilty, when I don´t write down my thoughts. Here is why: I always felt superior in thinking, analyzing, connecting dots and explaining certain conditions. And this is not really a trained abillity, I mean of course I do exercise it, but its in my DNA so to say. I remember since a teen, I translated between two sides. For example technologies and parents, or two very different people and their viewpoints. Its this state with no ego and I have so much clarity then, and I can nail points so clear that it makes sense to most. And I think this is ONLY beacuse people conciously or subconsciously notice my Intent which in that moment is very pure, because its my “superpower”. It was given to me and its more of an innate abillity, my ego has no association to it because: “I didn´t work for it”
Please let me know If you were able to take away any of this and if what!

either her or on my social media, thanks for reading!

 


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